MINDFULNESS MATTERS: Mindfulness and the Importance of "Me" Time, Especially During A Divorce

by Courtney Farrell, Esq. and Cynthia Runge, Esq.

Self-nurturing for mental health and well-being by taking time for yourself each day.

Whether it is ten minutes, half hour, or even a whole hour — taking time for yourself each day is essential to your well-being and mental health. "Me" time can mean whatever you want it to: taking an exercise class, going for a run, reading a book, enjoying a cup of coffee or tea alone, or just a couple minutes to shut down all of your electronics and unplug and refresh. In a world where we are constantly connected with technology, it seems like unplugging is impossible. In actuality, it can be challenging to unplug, but it is not impossible. There is always going to be work to finish — the email, text message, voicemail or phone call will still be there at the end of the day, so by taking a couple minutes for yourself, you are not neglecting your outside commitments, but rather making yourself able to give more and be in a better headspace to work more efficiently and effectively.

During a divorce or separation, people are often at the lowest point they have experienced in their lives. Finding healthy ways to self-nurture, especially during times of high stress, conflict and uncertainty, is essential to maintaining balance, perspective and sanity. 

Courtney says: “For me, I try to carve out thirty minutes to an hour to exercise at least five times a week. On days that seem to be busier than others, I try to get up a little earlier or cut back on the minutes, but still try to make the time for ‘Me.’”

Between work commitments, family commitments and everything else going on in our jam-packed lives, finding some "Me" time may come last on your list, or, if you do take some time, you may feel a little guilty. However, if you let yourself become emotionally and/or physically exhausted, you cannot expect to be fully present for all of the other commitments you have. As the saying goes: “You can’t pour from an empty glass”. 

If you feel you don’t have time for your own self-care, then ask yourself, “Whose life is it?” i.e., if you don’t get to decide how to spend the time you have been allotted to live in this world, then who does? Hint: The answer is you decide.

This article appeared in our Spring 2021 Newsletter.