The beginning of a new school year can be a time of both excitement and anxiety for parents and children alike, with possibilities offered by a fresh start on the one hand and the challenges of new routines and expectations on the other. Unfortunately for divorced parents the challenges can be magnified when a new school year leads to conflicts over children’s visitation schedules, extracurricular activities, etc. If you are experiencing such conflicts as you plan for the new school year, before turning to a court-based solution such as filing for a modification or a contempt complaint, consider whether these alternative options, which are often less expensive and stressful, may work for you:
1) Parenting coordinator
Both parties can work with a parenting coordinator, a neutral professional defined by the State of Massachusetts as a court-appointed, third-party provider of parenting coordination services. This can be a licensed attorney, psychiatrist, psychologist, independent clinical social worker, marriage and family therapist, or mental health counselor who has completed proscribed training and met other requirements set by the state.
Resources:
If you decide to go this route, a helpful resource for finding a parenting coordinator is the Massachusetts Chapter of the Association of Family and Conciliation Courts’ Directory of Parenting Coordinators: https://directory.maafcc.org/parent-coordinator
To learn more about Massachusetts’ parenting coordination laws, you can read “Massachusetts Probate and Family Court Standing Order 1-17: Parenting coordination” here: https://www.mass.gov/probate-and-family-court-rules/probate-and-family-court-standing-order-1-17-parenting-coordination
2) Mediation
Mediation is a process where parties in a dispute work together with the help of a neutral third party to reach a mutually agreeable resolution instead of resolving their dispute through the court. Mediation often provides quicker results: reducing legal costs, resolving disputes in weeks rather than months, and preserving important family relationships that litigation often destroys. This approach gives you control over outcomes while protecting your children from courtroom conflict.
Mediation can be instrumental in establishing parenting plans that prioritize children’s well-being over parental conflicts. Through the mediation process, parents design schedules that fit the family’s dynamics while addressing issues such as educational decisions, holiday arrangements, and vacation planning. This process helps craft balanced and workable plans, reducing stress and uncertainty for the children involved.
Resources:
The Massachusetts Council on Family Mediation (MCFM) web site has a searchable directory of their members: https://mcfm.org/find-mediator
3) Therapist
A therapist is a third option for support and may be helpful in tandem with either of the first two approaches. A therapist can help with the emotional aspect of things, such as learning to identify patterns and triggers for frustration and learning how to handle anxiety; improving communication and boundaries; developing an effective approach to planning; and helping you to strengthen your child-centered approach including techniques for communicating about the situation productively with your child.
Resources:
Psychology Today offers an online tool for finding a therapist by location and specialty: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/
Other options: While it can be more cost effective and less stressful to use alternative resources as opposed to the litigation route, if you find that these options don’t work for your situation then a complaint for modification or contempt may be the only way forward. In that case reach out to Peridot Family Law to discuss your case.
In addition, we will soon be adding Family Law Arbitration services to our range of practice areas, as another potentially cost-effective way to help people resolve their family law conflicts. In Massachusetts, arbitration can offer divorced parents a more structured way to resolve financial issues. Rather than returning to court as each new conflict arises, in arbitration a neutral third party hears the relevant facts and issues a binding decision on the issues submitted. This can reduce repeat disputes by clarifying practical “rules” for next steps. If you have questions about Arbitration of family law matters, please reach out to us.